New post...

I know it has been a long time since I have "blogged", and there is a reason. I have no problem looking at every one's updated blogs, but to me if felt a little weird blogging about the good things that are going on in life. Because honestly that's mostly what people blog about. kinda like pictures, they mostly capture the happy times and smiling faces. Ya know the good stuff. Since my brother passed away I didn't want to blog about life, because it just felt weird and too early to say hey look how happy we are. When we are happy, but still sad everyday that my big brother Gary is no longer with us... It's weird and I don't know if I am explaining it right for others to understand. My big brother. Was awesome. And he completed my "original" family, the one I was born into. He started us. Gary Pool Jr. very simple guy. He was super smart about so many different things. He was a out doors guy. Loved to work on cars, it was so good to have a private mechanic, loved hunting, especially bow hunting. which caused my Dad to discover a new hobby,( he joined Gary bow hunting) and spend hundred's of dollars getting all the gear that goes along with it, including a jeep. He loved taking his HUGE boat to waters. Even if his little truck at the time looked silly hauling it there. He loved doing all these things with his little babes. In his last year I think he really developed a new love for Wal-Mart. :) He was definitely not the type of person to sit still.



(the picture in the center is one of my favorites. After he just got his motorcycle, he was really happy)

My brother got Leukemia around May 2008, it took a long time for doctors to finally diagnose him with this disease. I think 4 months later in September is when they were done guessing and going back and forth and said yes, Gary, it's leukemia. He had a very hard battle because his type of leukemia came along with a Philadelphia Chromosome. I don't know much about all the science behind all of this stuff but it made his bodies job a lot harder to fight off the cancer. But Gary did his best, and he did a good job.

I guess there were a lot of times when things were looking bad, (more than I know because my parents tried to only report the best news when things weren't looking well) and for whatever reason, probably his two children, Emily and Ethan, he would come back fighting.

What my brother needed because of the philli Chromosome was a blood transplant. And I was Lucky enough to be the exact match he needed, what an honor! It was scary and such a great feeling knowing that my body, my blood could potentially save my brothers life. But I was pregnant so we had to wait, and wait, and wait. We can't be sure if Gary would of made it if he had be able to get the transplant sooner, as with most things in life. You can never be sure about the "what if's". What my family tries to think is that we were just blessed to have him around as long as we did. Because a blood transplant is such a serious medical procedure and would of wiped his body completely of practically everything, and (the goal would of been) for my blood to take over and take the job of his blood and make him healthy. There is a chance that the person getting the transplant wont make it. So we never know, maybe the reason I got Pregnant with Hazel was to prolong his stay with us.
Gary left us on September 17th, 2009. We had his funeral on September 22nd, 2009.

My family is so blessed to have had the 30 years with Gary in our lives. I am lucky that he was my oldest brother, and I am so so thankful that I got to share so many memories with him. So greatful that he got to be at my wedding and be there for the birth of my daughter. I thank God that he gave me such a great family, and that I am Gary's little sister. "ankle biter" as he and his friends used to call me.

Anyway there is a "brief" reason as to why I haven't felt like blogging. I know it's weird. It's just blogging. posting pictures of my baby mostly. But the things that you think about when you lose someone close to you. It's unimaginable. I will miss my brother, Gary, forever. And these holidays are going to be just absolutely bazarr... But we will get through with the memoeries that we have as a complete family, and I know that is memory will live on. (cheesey but as a family we love talking about him, and how unique he was.)

- Gary's little sister.


sorry if my puctuation and writing and all that is messy. I don't really worry too much about that stuff unless I am writing papers that need to be graded which has been awhile...